Authenticity Online.

If you have been on the internet over the last five years, you have seen an explosion in conversation around shame and vulnerability. Based on years of research, Brene Brown, professor, PhD, mother, and certified bad a$$, has inarguably led that conversation. So, naturally, when I decided I wanted to chat about authenticity, I went to her for the definition that she has found through her research. She defined authenticity as: the practice of being true to yourself and living in accordance with your values. It involves letting go of expectations and embracing who you are. Whew. Taking a minute to process the implications of showing up authentically online.

Okay, I’m ready. Over the past year, if you know me in real life or follow me on Instagram, you have heard me proselytize being yourself online, and here is a huge reason why: according to the Biden Administration’s U.S. Surgeon General, the U.S. has been in a loneliness epidemic for years. We lack community spaces, ways to meet people, and ways to be together in our shared humanity. The internet has hurt us in some ways in that people are more likely to seek community online than in real life. Knowing that, we can conclude that, more than ever, we are all craving people who are REAL, who can be our friends, who are like us, and who share our humanity. People online will not interact with those they can tell are disingenuous; we want someone real.

How do we know that we are showing up authentically online? We are all different, and each bring something unique to the online space. As I explore my balance of being a businesswoman and being myself on my business Instagram, I know that I am showing up authentically because it feels GOOD in my spirit; I feel confident, at peace, and excited about what I’m sharing. However, there are some instances where this isn’t always true. For example, the other day I posted about the sadness I feel about our current administration and that every queer, woman, migrant, and people of any intersectionality are safe and celebrated in my space. I still get an unsettled feeling in my stomach when thinking about this post because even though I know that this is a value that I live by and want to be active in my business, I know that it will impact prospective clients.

How do we foster an authentic community online? My biggest piece of strategy advice regarding this question is this: your feed is for your business content pillars, and your stories are where you get more personal with your engaged audience. Your stories are an opportunity to nurture your followers, which means letting them get to know you and your life. Some ideas for fostering community in your stories and in your feed are starting conversations through story prompts, CTAs in your post captions that help to start conversations in your comments, and responding to dms are all ways that you can build genuine relationships with your audience.

Finding your authenticity is a journey, and it’s always evolving. Cheers to being who we really are and for being real online.

Cringe.

In 2023, I was newly postpartum and stuck in a rocking chair for many, MANY hours every day nursing my son. I was drowning in depression, anxiety, and loneliness. I spent a lot of time on my phone scrolling Instagram, and one day, I decided I wanted to start posting more on socials. I had wanted to post for a long time, but I felt too embarrassed. I didn’t want strangers and, god forbid, people I knew in real life to think I was cringe. I was afraid to put myself out there because I didn’t want anyone to think I was embarrassing or that I wanted to become an influencer because, when I didn’t, they would think I failed. The more time I spent on socials, the more I realized these people were exactly like me. The only difference is that they didn’t care about what people thought to keep them from doing what they wanted, and they were successful because of that.

Long story short, I started posting silly things on socials, and I did not become an influencer. But that’s not the point. What I took away from all of this is the mentality of: if they can do it, I can do it, and I don’t care if people think I’m cringe because I’m not doing it for them; I’m doing it for me. How many times in my life had I not done something because I was afraid of being embarrassed? There are too many to count. I inadvertently missed out on lessons, potential success, and god knows what else because I feared how I would be perceived. In 2023, in the throws of postpartum, I decided that I’m not willing to miss out on myself—not because I’m cringe, not because I fail, not because I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. Once I adopted that mentality, I launched my digital marketing business, working as a social media manager, social media consultant, email marketing manager, newsletter writer, blog writer, and more.

As a digital marketer, one of the most significant pieces of advice for all of my social media management clients is to be yourself exactly as you are, which means stop letting the fear of being cringe motivate how you show up online and in life. No one else on this entire planet brings what you bring to this world. People don’t want anything to do with curated, fake content because inauthenticity is untrustworthy. People want to follow content creators and brands who are honest about who they are and take the time to build trust with their followers. The rapport built in that environment will drive growth, sales, business, and community. Whatever your goal, the way to be successful online is to be authentic. Will that authenticity be cringe to some people? For sure. But don’t forget that you’re not doing it for those people; you’re doing it for you.